Change: as of now, I will publish only posts that are no longer than 500 words on this blog, along with some other exciting changes for this journey of mine, the inner one and the one on the road.
Here we go again, I plunged into a state of semi-alcoholic cosmic apathy. The don’t read, don’t write, don’t talk to people much and watch useless videos on YouTube until late at night sort of thing. With a glass of old friend red wine on my side, of course.
So I sleep little, I become moody, grim, and a tad inconsolable. That’s beside the guilty feelings I develop for wasting my precious time in the world like that. Yeah, charming side of my personality. This could go on repeating for a while too. Circularity is an important concept nowadays.
No big deal, no need to be too harsh on myself. I know what’s going (I didn’t get to 40 for anything), it’s some kind of inner change that my whole being processes that way.
I am an expert at regeneration through pain. Think of a caterpillar in its cocoon plus stock of wine. I mean, all that transforming must be excruciating! But it leads to somewhere, to something. One thing is for sure: it ends.
There is no change without a little bit of pain I am afraid, but these transformations are becoming shorter, lighter and less spectacular over time. Finally, I realized it’s always me, with just a little something more added.
I found my refuge on the Japanese mountains of Nozawa Onsen for a few weeks. I needed to rest, physically and mentally, after over a year of travelling, internalise my experience.
It’s been one of those tough moments, and it isn’t over yet, but it’s phasing out. The fact that I am writing this is proof. You know what? When you have an existential problem write a couple of emails to your best friends, they’ll know what to tell you. Thank you, friends!
There isn’t much I could do anyway besides waiting and trying to listen to myself. Really, people: is there anything harder in the world than listening to yourself?
Anyways, I reached a few conclusions for my immediate future:
√ I decided to go home. By that I mean Europe. I am a little tired of this wandering without purpose.
√ I won’t fly home. I’ll leave instead for a long journey via land, whenever possible. Long in distance but not in duration. I’ll move faster, from Tokyo to Rome through the whole Eurasian continent.
√ I want to be on the road without any obligation to see or do anything, just go, and feel the wind of freedom on my skin again.
√ Starting today, the posts on this blog will focus more on the moment, on both observations and emotions the experiences I live will trigger. No more long explanations and information that already exist elsewhere. Travel guide is not my job after all, so fuck it.
√ As from now, posts won’t be longer than a pager, 500 words, take it or leave it, it’s going to be more fun and challenging like that 🙂
And that’s 500 words, let’s go!